Dry Well

frontimg-main_FullWhat is a dry well?  Simply put its a well that is dry, one that doesn’t produce any water.  A dry well would be one that no one returns to to quench their thirst and in most cases it would be capped of, abandoned and forgotten.  BUT they are most often always still there.

Getting water from a well is NOT an easy task, it a takes a lot of work.  I’m not talking about the modern day technology that’s used by cities which connect wells to the city water system that we get to our faucets, not that kind of well.  I’m talking about the old wells.  You know, the one where the bucket is hanging there – you have to manually turn the crank down to the bottom, scoop up the water in the bucket and then crank the bucket up…….that’s the kind of well that I have in my mind.  That’s A LOT of work to get one bucket of water!!

IF you were to make the effort to go to the well, the old fashioned kind – put the bucket on the hook, crank it ALL the way down to the bottom and then crank it back up ONLY to find it empty, would your need be met?  Would you be able to quench your thirst? or use the water to wash your clothes? bathe yourself or your child?  NO!!  You would walk away potentially feeling sad, defeated, lonely, frustrated, thirsty, dirty, afraid.

Knowing that the well was dried up, would you go back to get more water?  Maybe,  right?  Maybe it just happened to be dry that day, maybe tomorrow would be different, maybe because it rained or something like that, there would be water.  So, the next day you go to the SAME well, drop the SAME bucket ONLY to find that – OH MY the well IS still dry!  Shoot, once again your needs are not met and you walk away with the same feelings you had the day before…….sad, defeated, lonely, frustrated, thirsty, dirty, afraid.

This could go on for days – hoping to get different results.  Until finally the decision is made to accept the reality that the well is dry, it will no longer meet the needs that it once did.  You let it go. You find another well to meet your needs.  BUT it’s VERY difficult and it can take a lot of time!!

Over the past couple of years I’ve asked myself why in the world am I continually drawn to “dry wells”?  NOW I’m talking about people and relationships.  I make the connection between the two because some of the relationships that I’ve had OR have are like dry wells……….they do not quench my thirst.  I continue to go to the people/relationship thinking the next time will be different, but it’s not.  I leave sad, defeated, some times insecure, judged, frustrated, empty.

I’ve come to the realization that we indeed are creatures of habit AND change is NOT easy!!  What have I done?  I’ve taken the path of least resistance in some cases and continue to get the same results.  YUK – that’s painful!!

Yesterday my friend shared with me this analogy.  She said, “Sometimes we have to set aside or walk away from the unhealthy to make room in our lives for God to bring healthy.”

Oooooohhhhh!  We liked this, but we both decided that it’s a very difficult task!  It’s true, but hard because we want so bad for the “well” aka. relationship/person NOT to be dry!  Plus, it’s easy to just NOT work on de-cluttering and be status quo, even though it’s unhealthy and painful.  DOUBLE PLUS, if we let go of that, even though it’s unhealthy – WHAT do we replace it with in the meantime?  Do we trust God to bring us healthy?

The one thing to keep in mind is like a  dried up well, they are most often ALWAYS still there.  As we make the decision to accept, set aside the unhealthy to make room for the healthy – it doesn’t mean we need to destroy or eliminate – we just don’t need to go there anymore.  We need to set boundaries and make room for God to bring us healthy.

How many dry wells are you going to?

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  1. Megan says:

    So true! It seems like such an easy thing to walk away, but there is that draw back to the well!! Teri, I can hear your voice and see you saying all this! It is great! Thanks for sharing yourself.

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